I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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