What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
