I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
