no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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