this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize