actually, I'm a sock model
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
