So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
