Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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