I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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