her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
