i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
