do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
