arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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