discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
