Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
