Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
