benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
