She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The adults are the big ones right?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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