i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
