i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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