If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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