He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
