Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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