We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
