New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
