it hurts more in the daytime
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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