I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
