I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
