The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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