I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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