My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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