All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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