I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
