I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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