therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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