our cab driver is having phone sex.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
