Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
