Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
