Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
