To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
