The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
