lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize