Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
