Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
