I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You smell like stripper and shame
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
