i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
