remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
