Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
People with herpes should wear stickers.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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