chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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