I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
