First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
