Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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