She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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