I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
