so explain again why im purple
no
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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