The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
