we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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